The Shoe Inspector
by LinnyLoo
Summary: Draco ends up on the floor and studies people's feet. OneShot


Disclaimer: -sits for a second, thinking of the wittiest way this can be put- I don't own Harry Potter. -thousands roar in laughter at this hilarious statement-

A/N: Hey guys – just a little one-shot that bugged me yesterday until I finished writing it. Hope you enjoy!

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It was a Friday afternoon and Draco Malfoy was in a Potions lesson which was taking place in the dungeons as usual. Snape was having one of those days when he was not only extremely unenthusiastic, but also talking about some complex potion which they would never be asked upon to brew. Only a very small percentage of the class was listening and Draco, I'm afraid, was not one of that very small percentage. 

He was sitting between Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini, both of whom were also trying desperately to find some source of entertainment. Blaise was creating an elaborate paper-broom -which looked suspiciously like Potter's Firebolt- out of a page ripped out of his text book. Pansy, however, was attempting the even more difficult task of trying to catch the attention of a certain fed up Malfoy.

Draco himself had tired of flicking Pansy's suggestive notes at the back of Longbottom's head, amusing though it was, and instead decided to do a Su-Doku puzzle.

He carefully pulled out the scrap of paper that he'd ripped out of Crabbe's puzzle book and dug around for a pencil inside his robes (using a quill was usually too messy). He then sat there for a good ten minutes carefully printing out numbers onto the square grid, and it was while he was pondering as to whether this box was supposed to be a 4 or a 7 that Pansy nudged him extra-hard in the ribs which resulted in him dropping his pencil.

He scowled at her and she smiled back in a way which made her look remarkably similar to the famous singing witch Imelda Spungebristle. He sniggered at the resemblance and stored it in his mind to use atadesperatemoment, then proceeded to pick up his quill. He groaned inwardly as he realised that no longer had any ink, due to the fact that he'd thrown it at Peeves during a moment of great annoyance (which was followed by more annoyance, as Peeves dodged it and knocked over a suit of armour in Draco's general direction).

Draco poked Zabini in the ribs, not wanting to let Pansy know that he acknowledged her existence. However the Slytherin boy did not react to Draco, instead he prodded the paper-broom with his wand as though he couldn't quite remember the charm to make it fly around. Draco was frustrated, he had now worked out that it was in fact a 4, not a 7 – and he has worked out most of the numbers in the bottom line too.

With an annoyed sigh, he slipped down under the table after flicking one last note at Longbottom (who read the note before sending a shocked look at Pansy, who scowled at him as he shuffled back to face the front). Draco rarely visited the underneath of the long tables in Potions, he never really thought that there would be much fun to be had down there. Yet it was probably more interesting to crawl along and _count peoples toes_ than actually sit there and listen to Snape drone on about boring stuff for two hours. So Draco lighted his wand with a quick whispered '_Lumos'_ and then made his way along the table in search of his pencil.

The first pair of feet he came across were those that were attached to Blaise Zabini. Draco had considered going right, past Pansy – but her foot was already dangerously close to his body, and he didn't fancy having her pointy shoe stuck in his side. So he shuffled left and lifted Zabini's bag to check for any signs of his pencil, or any pencil for that matter. He found no pencils, however what he _did_ find was a chocolate frog in the bag. He pocketed this new treasure and moved on to the next pair of feet.

These feet obviously belonged to Millicent Bulstrode. There was no other student that Draco could think of who wore ridiculously high-heeled shoes and tights which changed colour depending on what mood the wearer was in. They were currently a murky brown colour, which he suspected could only mean that she was drowning n the depths of boredom and greasy-haired professors. Draco budged her tailored bag (including a total of three 'Weasley is our King' badges) and crawled on the next pair of feet which seemed to belong to Goyle.

The extraordinarily large boy used up most of two seats, which Draco was sure had to be a record of sorts. He also had an extraordinarily large schoolbag, which held half of Draco's school books – the other half was currently in Crabbe's bag which was somewhere over on Pansy's side, as Draco had made him sit there in hope that he might be a distraction to Pansy. No such luck unfortunately, he just seemed to look menacing all the time which ended his and Pansy's relationship before it had ever come near beginning. After a quick search through Goyle's belongings for a pencil, all he managed to find was a fake wand which those Weasley twins had probably tricked him into buying, a yo-yo with no string, and a mouldy orange which looked like it could be the cause of the recent odd smell which came with some of Draco's books. Draco hastily shuffled toward the next pair of feet.

A pair of scruffy shoes with different laces on each foot attached to a patched robe. This could only be Weasley, blood-traitor and all that jazz. Draco dodged as Ron's hand emerged under the desk. Draco panicked for a moment, as he thought that he'd been found out – but it turned out that Weasley was just sticking a big lump of chewing gum under the desk. _Tut tut – very bad habit, I should teach you a lesson! _Draco quickly whispered _'Wingardium Leviosa' _and placed the gum on the floor, where he knew that Ron would move his foot. Chuckling at his own clever idea, Draco discarded the chewed up, broken pencil that he found, as it had no lead in it.

The next pair of shoes made Draco glance behind him, as he was almost certain that these were the only clean, plain and reasonably new pair of shoes. Inside these shoes was a pair of regulation wool grey tights and some small feet. These feet were shuffling around excitedly as though the owner was genuinely excited to learn the new information which Snape was droning on about, at the moment he seemed to be asking a very confusing question to that pathetic Longbottom kid. Draco peered at this student's bag so that he might have some clue as to who it was. He noticed a small bright badge with some letters on, and was just about to lean closer to read them when – BAM! One of the small shoes was making it's own imprint on Draco's hand, as the fairly small student stood up with her hand waving in the air, in an attempt to catch the attention of Snape. Draco's hand was only released from the evil of the small shoe when he heard with relief the sound of Snape's voice telling her to sit down. He let out a soft whimper as he nursed his crushed hand in pain. Who knew that such small shoes could hurt so much? He immediately decided that he must know who this was so that he could effectively get revenge.

Using his non-crushed hand, Draco held his wand in hope of improving the very dim light. Suddenly he realised what the badge said. It was four letters, S.P.E.W. which could only mean that the owner of these evil feet was none other than Hermione Granger, mudblood, beaver, bookworm etc.

Draco put out his wand and used it to poke Hermione in the side, he wanted to laugh hysterically when he heard her hiss,

"Not now Ron!"

The pencil lay forgotten, held firmly in place by Pansy's foot.

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A/N: Please review! Please:) 


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